27 Then Jacob came to his father Isaac at Mamre, or Kirjath Arba[e](that is, Hebron), where Abraham and Isaac had dwelt. 28 Now the days of Isaac were one hundred and eighty years. 29 So Isaac breathed his last and died, and was gathered to his people, being old and full of days. And his sons Esau and Jacob buried him.
Managing family relationships is a challenge on many levels. Often as we become men, we wrestle to prove ourselves no longer the “kid” we were in our own home. And that fight for independence can leave a few wounded on life’s battlefield.
So, we end up with strained relationships with our families or feel frustrated when we slide back into “kid” behavior every time we go home. Some families disintegrate or spend years playing out the unresolved conflicts of yesteryear. In such settings, time with family feels needed but doesn’t feel good.
Imagine Jacob’s return home for his father’s funeral. On their last meeting, he had deceived his father and run away. Now, reunited with Esau, Jacob is back for the sad events surrounding Isaac’s death. You can almost feel the awkwardness, can’t you?
Of course, their moment is past, but yours may still be very much alive. Are your relationships with parents and siblings strong or are there unresolved struggles between you? Do your family members know how you feel about them, how you love them? If not, who will take the first step toward healing or loving expression?
Family is God’s primary strategy for growing us. If yours feels a bit broken, don’t wait until funeral flowers are piling up to make things right. It may feel a bit awkward to try resolving those issues, but feeling awkward now will be better than feeling it then.
– Dr. Mike Clarensau serves as Senior Director of the Healthy Church Network of the Assemblies of God.
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