Fridays with David

2 Samuel 15:19-22

¹⁹ Then the king said to Ittai the Gittite, “Why are you also going with us? Return and remain with the king. For you are a foreigner and also an exile from your own place. ²⁰ In fact, you came only yesterday. Should I make you wander up and down with us today, since I go I know not where? Return, and take your brethren back. Mercy and truth be with you.”

²¹ But Ittai answered the king and said, “Asthe Lord lives, and as my lord the king lives, surely in whatever place my lord the king shall be, whether in death or life, even there also your servant will be.”

²² So David said to Ittai, “Go, and cross over.” Then Ittai the Gittite and all his men and all the little ones who were with him crossed over.

In many ways it seems loyalty is fading from the vocabulary of modern life. People today chase personal benefit, moving from job to job, and even marriage to marriage in their pursuit of self-centered goals. Even when they are blessed with their current circumstances, a promise of more money or the hope of greater satisfaction lures them to risk the good things they’ve been given.

In this story, Ittai could have sought his own benefit. Even David didn’t think he deserved the loyalty of this foreigner, but Ittai risked himself and his family in order to remain loyal to David. Given that David was hurting at the need to abandon his city, the man’s loyalty likely made a major difference for his king. In the same way, when we sacrifice to demonstrate loyalty to our leaders and our families, we give something that one can’t put a price tag on. To sacrifice one’s self in order to be loyal to those we love and admire demonstrates a mature heart and proves that we know what really matters most in life and will bring us the deepest satisfaction.

– Dr. Mike Clarensau serves as Senior Director of the Healthy Church Network of the Assemblies of God.

Fridays with David

2 Samuel 15:13-18

¹³ Now a messenger came to David, saying, “The hearts of the men of Israel are with Absalom.”

¹⁴ So David said to all his servants who were with him at Jerusalem, “Arise, and let us flee, or we shall not escape from Absalom. Make haste to depart, lest he overtake us suddenly and bring disaster upon us, and strike the city with the edge of the sword.”

¹⁵ And the king’s servants said to the king, “We are your servants, ready to do whatever my lord the king commands.” ¹⁶ Then the king went out with all his household after him. But the king left ten women, concubines, to keep the house. ¹⁷ And the king went out with all the people after him, and stopped at the outskirts. ¹⁸ Then all his servants passed before him; and all the Cherethites, all the Pelethites, and all the Gittites, six hundred men who had followed him from Gath, passed before the king.

This may well have been David’s most difficult day as king—the day he had to flee his own palace, as the awareness of Absalom’s rebellion came into focus. Absalom has succeeded in gaining popular support and David can’t risk being attacked by the people that once revered him. What a sad day of defeat.

David had been a man of the people, but he’d lost track of that priority in recent years. Absalom’s rebellion succeeded because David neglected those he had once served. Perhaps the growth of his kingdom or other demands had changed him, but now he has no kingdom to lead.

Don’t ever forget that serving people is the real work we’ve been given to do. We may rise in authority or in the esteem others offer, but we are called to be servants. And when we forget that, it’s usually not long until we lose what we have. Be a servant when no one is watching and be a servant when your actions are seen by thousands. Don’t let power and position change your priorities.

– Dr. Mike Clarensau serves as Senior Director of the Healthy Church Network of the Assemblies of God.

Fridays with David

2 Samuel 15:10-12

¹⁰ Then Absalom sent spies throughout all the tribes of Israel, saying, “As soon as you hear the sound of the trumpet, then you shall say, ‘Absalom reigns in Hebron!’” ¹¹ And with Absalom went two hundred men invited from Jerusalem, and they went along innocently and did not know anything. ¹² Then Absalom sent for Ahithophel the Gilonite, David’s counselor, from his city—from Giloh—while he offered sacrifices. And the conspiracy grew strong, for the people with Absalom continually increased in number.

Look how easy it is to get caught up in a conspiracy of rebellion! Verse 11 tells us that to hundred men tagged along on Absalom’s trek to Hebron, not having any idea of what was coming. Absalom would announce himself king and they’d be right in the middle of the events.

If there’s ever a good reason for being careful about the friends you choose, this story sure shows it. Why are these men in such a compromised place? Because they have befriended a deceiver, Absalom’s slick talking has drawn them close to him and led them toward a treasonous destination.

Never forget that relationships have destinations. Every friendship you have is leading you somewhere so you want to be certain that you choose your friends carefully and limit your close relationships to those who are going where you want to go. Making good choices in the people that surround your life is one of the primary ways to live the life you really want. Don’t be careless in your choice of friends, or you can end up in places you never intended to be.

– Dr. Mike Clarensau serves as Senior Director of the Healthy Church Network of the Assemblies of God.

Fridays with David

2 Samuel 15:1-6

¹ After this it happened that Absalom provided himself with chariots and horses, and fifty men to run before him. ² Now Absalom would rise early and stand beside the way to the gate. So it was, whenever anyone who had a lawsuit came to the king for a decision, that Absalom would call to him and say, “What city are you from?” And he would say, “Your servant is from such and such a tribe of Israel.” ³ Then Absalom would say to him, “Look, your case is good and right; but there is no deputy of the king to hear you.” ⁴ Moreover Absalom would say, “Oh, that I were made judge in the land, and everyone who has any suit or cause would come to me; then I would give him justice.” ⁵ And so it was, whenever anyone came near to bow down to him, that he would put out his hand and take him and kiss him. ⁶ In this manner Absalom acted toward all Israel who came to the king for judgment. So Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.

Deceivers are among the most challenging people to handle. They tell you what you want to hear in order to get something from you. And usually you don’t have any idea that they are plotting to take advantage of you.

Absalom is unsatisfied with his long-awaited meeting with the king and now he looks to gain the trust of the people and ultimately lead a popular rebellion against his father, David.

How does he do it? By telling the people what they want to hear and fueling their dissatisfaction with their rightful king. That’s what these self-centered people do to deceive us. They entice us with attractive words and magnify our frustration with the leaders we have.

How easy do we fall for such tactics? How quickly are we drawn into office gossip or criticisms of others? If we make a habit of engaging such conversations, we open the door to all sorts of deceptive manipulation. It’s better to stay clear of those with an “Absalom spirit.”

– Dr. Mike Clarensau serves as Senior Director of the Healthy Church Network of the Assemblies of God.

Fridays with David

2 Samuel 14:28-31

²⁸ And Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem, but did not see the king’s face. ²⁹ Therefore Absalom sent for Joab, to send him to the king, but he would not come to him. And when he sent again the second time, he would not come. ³⁰ So he said to his servants, “See, Joab’s field is near mine, and he has barley there; go and set it on fire.” And Absalom’s servants set the field on fire.

³¹ Then Joab arose and came to Absalom’s house, and said to him, “Why have your servants set my field on fire?”

Do you ever find yourself ignoring a situation, hoping it will just go away? Maybe a conflict you don’t want to deal with or a conversation you just don’t want to have?

Here, Joab is trying to maintain his balance in two different worlds. David has kept Absalom at a distance and Joab has tried to fix that, but when Absalom wants to meet with Joab, the general knows David won’t want him to take that step, so he ignores Absalom’s request. But Absalom won’t go away.

Now, surely Absalom’s choice to burn Joab’s field is a wrong move, even though it leads to the meeting he wants. The lesson for us isn’t to damage someone’s property to get their attention. Instead, we can learn from Joab’s side of the ledger—ignoring things doesn’t make them go away.

Perhaps there are situations pressing against you that you’d prefer not to deal with. Ignoring them isn’t the solution. You can try that, but chances are pretty good that they will find a way to force you to face them. So, for the good of your field, or whatever else you might lose if you ignore a growing problem, find a way to deal with the issue. You may find it a difficult step, but at least you’ll be able to avoid some of the damage that could follow.

– Dr. Mike Clarensau serves as Senior Director of the Healthy Church Network of the Assemblies of God.

Fridays with David

2 Samuel 14:25-27

²⁵ Now in all Israel there was no one who was praised as much as Absalom for his good looks. From the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him. ²⁶ And when he cut the hair of his head—at the end of every year he cut it because it was heavy on him—when he cut it, he weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels according to the king’s standard. ²⁷ To Absalom were born three sons, and one daughter whose name was Tamar. She was a woman of beautiful appearance.

Was David threatened by Absalom? It’s hard to know for sure, but their relationship took some very puzzling twists and turns. This paragraph tells us how much Absalom was loved by the people. He had it all—good looks, popularity, even good hair!

During the time that Absalom was banished from the king’s presence, David could have been allowing competitive feelings toward his son to keep him from reaching out to him. We can’t be sure of that, but we do know how easy it is for us silently rejoice when those who seem sharper and more popular run into hard times.

But David’s failure to get past whatever reasons he had for resisting his son, ultimately caused him to lose that son. In a few paragraphs, we will read of Absalom’s death, a tragedy that will bring deep sorrow to David, partly because he lost his son, and partly because he likely could have prevented it.

Don’t let such pettiness keep you from doing right and loving those around you. Yes, some are blessed with more than we’ve been given, but that doesn’t mean these need us less. In fact, history has shown that often the most beautiful people feel the most alone. Lay aside the excuses, and reach out to those whose abilities may exceed your own.

– Dr. Mike Clarensau serves as Senior Director of the Healthy Church Network of the Assemblies of God.

Fridays with David

2 Samuel 14:21-24

²¹ And the king said to Joab, “All right, I have granted this thing. Go therefore, bring back the young man Absalom.”

²² Then Joab fell to the ground on his face and bowed himself, and thanked the king. And Joab said, “Today your servant knows that I have found favor in your sight, my lord, O king, in that the king has fulfilled the request of his servant.” ²³ So Joab arose and went to Geshur, and brought Absalom to Jerusalem. ²⁴ And the king said, “Let him return to his own house, but do not let him see my face.” So Absalom returned to his own house, but did not see the king’s face.

Helping a friend do what he needs to do can be risky. We all treasure our independence, so when someone suggests we act differently than we choose, we can get defensive—even with those who love us. But, this is the mark of true friendship. Such relationships make us better than we would be by ourselves.

Joab risks a lot by sending the woman of Tekoa to help David see his error. David quickly surmises that his general is behind the woman’s actions, and David could have reacted angrily and even had Joab put to death for his scheme. Instead, the woman’s story helps David see what he needs to do, and he has Joab to thank for his corrective actions.

Do you love your friends enough to risk relationship in order to protect them. It can be difficult to protect our friends from their circumstances, but protecting them from themselves is even more difficult. Still, for those we love, the risk is generally worthwhile.

The Bible reminds us that “love covers a multitude of sins.” This doesn’t mean that love looks away from poor choices, but instead love acts in a way that steers a friend from an ending he isn’t seeing. 

– Dr. Mike Clarensau serves as Senior Director of the Healthy Church Network of the Assemblies of God.

Fridays with David

2 Samuel 14:13-16

¹³ So the woman said: “Why then have you schemed such a thing against the people of God? For the king speaks this thing as one who is guilty, in that the king does not bring his banished one home again. ¹⁴ For we will surely die and become like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. Yet God does not take away a life; but He devises means, so that His banished ones are not expelled from Him. ¹⁵ Now therefore, I have come to speak of this thing to my lord the king because the people have made me afraid. And your maidservant said, ‘I will now speak to the king; it may be that the king will perform the request of his maidservant. ¹⁶ For the king will hear and deliver his maidservant from the hand of the man who would destroy me and my son together from the inheritance of God.’

Here, the woman of Tekoa brings the point of her parable to King David. She’s not telling him about her two sons, but the story is about his! This shocking revelation forces David to face the battle that’s been fought within his own family, and the woman’s words demand action the king has been hesitant to take. Truth is, that hesitancy has already proved costly to the people of Israel, and the battle ahead will be even more costly.

To whom do you listen?  We all have a desire to be independent—to choose our own path and do things our own way—but, who can penetrate that sense of individualism in your life? The woman in this story risks her life in this conversation as David could have had her put to death for speaking to him in such a manner. Our response can’t reach that extreme, but that doesn’t mean people feel they can fearlessly approach us about our failures.

We need friends who love us enough to speak into our errors in judgment and action. We need the correction someone with a different perspective can bring. Today, consider who those people are in your life, and what steps you can take to open the way for others to bring that wisdom to your life.

– Dr. Mike Clarensau serves as Senior Director of the Healthy Church Network of the Assemblies of God.

Fridays with David

2 Samuel 14:1-3

And she answered, “Indeed I am a widow, my husband is dead. ⁶ Now your maidservant had two sons; and the two fought with each other in the field, and there was no one to part them, but the one struck the other and killed him. ⁷ And now the whole family has risen up against your maidservant, and they said, ‘Deliver him who struck his brother, that we may execute him for the life of his brother whom he killed; and we will destroy the heir also.’ So they would extinguish my ember that is left, and leave to my husband neither name nor remnant on the earth.”

It seems likely that this story is simply a parable told by the woman to make a point to King David. She may have had such sons, but it’s more likely that she’s trying to help the king with issues in his own family. Still, there’s enough truth to this kind of story that it’s worth reflecting on today.

When brothers fight, much is at risk. Quarrels between brothers make the loss of both a real possibility for families—even when the conflict doesn’t rise close to the level of death. Many families today are divided and even broken by the fights between brothers. One rejects the other or learns to hate and soon both are estranged not only from one another, but the brokenness spreads to the entire family. Family events are uncomfortable or certain chairs are empty, and those who love them find their hurt spreading in ways many families never overcome.

If you have a brother (even a brother in Christ), never let quarrels escalate to brokenness. You are affecting more than just your fellow combatant. (By the way, this is true for sisters too.)

– Dr. Mike Clarensau serves as Senior Director of the Healthy Church Network of the Assemblies of God.

Fridays with David

2 Samuel 14:1-3

⁵ Then the king said to her, “What troubles you?”

And she answered, “Indeed I am a widow, my husband is dead. ⁶ Now your maidservant had two sons; and the two fought with each other in the field, and there was no one to part them, but the one struck the other and killed him. ⁷ And now the whole family has risen up against your maidservant, and they said, ‘Deliver him who struck his brother, that we may execute him for the life of his brother whom he killed; and we will destroy the heir also.’ So they would extinguish my ember that is left, and leave to my husband neither name nor remnant on the earth.”

⁸ Then the king said to the woman, “Go to your house, and I will give orders concerning you.”

⁹ And the woman of Tekoa said to the king, “My lord, O king, let the iniquity be on me and on my father’s house, and the king and his throne be guiltless.”

¹⁰ So the king said, “Whoever says anything to you, bring him to me, and he shall not touch you anymore.”

¹¹ Then she said, “Please let the king remember the Lord your God, and do not permit the avenger of blood to destroy anymore, lest they destroy my son.”

And he said, “As the Lord lives, not one hair of your son shall fall to the ground.”

Funny how different our circumstances sound when someone else is describing them. Just like the prophet Nathan in the Bathsheba story, the woman of Tekoa helps David see his actions by telling him a related, but different story.

Perspective is a funny thing. It doesn’t speak directly to the truth of a matter, but reveals how we see that circumstance instead. Once David is able to see his situation from another’s perspective, he will be better equipped to take the best action.

Sometimes we need someone else’s perspective to make the best decisions. Whom do you trust like that? What situations are you facing right now that could use some additional perspective? A good place to start is with something you’re trying to deal with, but it’s not getting better.

– Dr. Mike Clarensau serves as Senior Director of the Healthy Church Network of the Assemblies of God.

Fridays with David

2 Samuel 14:1-3

¹ So Joab the son of Zeruiah perceived that the king’s heart was concerned about Absalom. ² And Joab sent to Tekoa and brought from there a wise woman, and said to her, “Please pretend to be a mourner, and put on mourning apparel; do not anoint yourself with oil, but act like a woman who has been mourning a long time for the dead. ³ Go to the king and speak to him in this manner.” So Joab put the words in her mouth.

Don’t get involved…that’s a mantra for many today. When people see trouble, common wisdom suggests “minding your own business,” ‘cause getting involved can be messy. But Joab is David’s friend, and he sees the king’s misery over the banishment of his son, Absalom.

Now Joab’s actions are deceptive and it’s difficult for us to understand their appropriateness in his cultural context. But, we can see that Joab wasn’t content to let the king stay “stuck” in the current situation. He took action for his friend, trying to find a way to help change the situation, without violating the king’s authority.

When a friend is in trouble, a man must find a wise way to help. If we don’t, what value does friendship really offer? Are there guys in your life who are making choices you know could damage their marriages? Are they acting in ways you can see are damaging their children? Are they doing things that could cost them their current job?

Don’t be a mere bystander when a friend is moving toward failure. Step up! Find a way to penetrate the lies they’ve begun believing, and perhaps you can help prevent the situation from becoming worse. 

– Dr. Mike Clarensau serves as Senior Director of the Healthy Church Network of the Assemblies of God.

Fridays with David

2 Samuel 13:34-39

³⁴ Then Absalom fled. And the young man who was keeping watch lifted his eyes and looked, and there, many people were coming from the road on the hillside behind him. ³⁵ And Jonadab said to the king, “Look, the king’s sons are coming; as your servant said, so it is.” ³⁶ So it was, as soon as he had finished speaking, that the king’s sons indeed came, and they lifted up their voice and wept. Also the king and all his servants wept very bitterly.

³⁷ But Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day. ³⁸ So Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years. ³⁹ And King David longed to go to Absalom. For he had been comforted concerning Amnon, because he was dead.

We have connected the dots between David’s failure to act righteously in this story and Absalom’s subsequent decision to take matters into his own hands. The continued decline of this royal family can even be traced to David’s sin with Bathsheba, for how could he judge Amnon’s actions with Tamar when he has his own sinful history to reflect on.

Amnon is dead—the punishment his actions likely merited—but the losses continue to mount. Now David has lost another son. Absalom has fled and the complex question of an appropriate response to his vengeance will further cripple David’s decision-making. Even after David has recovered from his grief, his thoughts of Absalom fail to produce any action. David’s own sin continues to multiply in his failure to do anything to stop the spread of evil. At the moment, Absalom is a lost son only a few miles away. Soon enough, though, he will be lost forever as well.

Don’t stand by when grace and forgiveness could stop the march of evil around you. Step up and step in with the same love and compassion God has extended to you. Only grace and genuine love can stop the wicked tidal wave Satan keeps stirring amidst our failures.

– Dr. Mike Clarensau serves as Senior Director of the Healthy Church Network of the Assemblies of God.

Fridays with David

2 Samuel 13:30-33

³⁰ And it came to pass, while they were on the way, that news came to David, saying, “Absalom has killed all the king’s sons, and not one of them is left!” ³¹ So the king arose and tore his garments and lay on the ground, and all his servants stood by with their clothes torn. ³² Then Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother, answered and said, “Let not my lord suppose they have killed all the young men, the king’s sons, for only Amnon is dead. For by the command of Absalom this has been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar.³³ Now therefore, let not my lord the king take the thing to his heart, to think that all the king’s sons are dead. For only Amnon is dead.”

Tragedies are heart-breaking, but perhaps none as much as those that could have been prevented. Here, David’s failure to deal with Amnon’s sin opened the way for Absalom to take matters into his own hands. The result is more than Amnon’s death. A much longer story of brokenness is just ahead.

Here’s the truth. If you don’t do what is right, you sow seeds that bring a seemingly never-ending harvest of pain and hurt. While the sins in this story as surely the responsibility of Amnon and Absalom—no one is trying to let them off the hook—it’s David’s failure to act with righteousness that tills the ground so such horrifically evil seeds can be planted.

Doing what’s right always matters—even if it costs us something in the short-term. The right decisions—the ones that leave a legacy of goodness—always require a short-term price. But, they end up bringing blessings for generations.

– Dr. Mike Clarensau serves as Senior Director of the Healthy Church Network of the Assemblies of God.

Fridays with David

2 Samuel 13:23-26

²³ And it came to pass, after two full years, that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baal Hazor, which is near Ephraim; so Absalom invited all the king’s sons.²⁴ Then Absalom came to the king and said, “Kindly note, your servant has sheepshearers; please, let the king and his servants go with your servant.”

²⁵ But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let us not all go now, lest we be a burden to you.” Then he urged him, but he would not go; and he blessed him.

²⁶ Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.”

Two years, but the anger still burns in Absalom’s heart. Amnon’s wickedness toward Tamar, a sin apparently unchallenged by their father David, may have diminished from the whispers of the royal family, but nothing has really died down. Two years later, Absalom is plotting retribution, and it’s highly unlikely that David can’t perceive his son’s intent. Like the moment when Amnon asked for Tamar to be sent to him, David could have anticipated Absalom’s intent, but he seems to be trapped in a cycle of inaction.

When we don’t do the right thing, situations deteriorate. Our “looking the other way” seldom proves to be an effective way to avoid trouble. Situations may fade from current attention, but seeds are planted—seeds that will be determined to grow for some future harvest.

So, while your day may not present issues of violence between your children, be sure to step up to any-sized challenge to act for righteousness. Do what is right and guide those within your authority to right choices as well. Acting justly is a critical measure of humanity and demonstrates the Spirit of God within us. Don’t make the habit of looking the other way or you’ll be blind-sided by destinations even more tragic than you thought could occur.

– Dr. Mike Clarensau serves as Senior Director of the Healthy Church Network of the Assemblies of God.

Fridays with David

2 Samuel 13:12-15

But she answered him, “No, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing should be done in Israel. Do not do this disgraceful thing!    And I, where could I take my shame? And as for you, you would be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from you.”   However, he would not heed her voice; and being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her.   Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Arise, be gone!”

Sin never satisfies. After months, or perhaps years, of desiring Tamar, Amnon acts on his lust despite her pleadings for him to stop. She knows that his intent is despicable, but he cannot be stopped until he has violated his half-sister.

But rather than finding pleasure in this violent moment, Amnon then hates Tamar exceedingly. Why? Because she resisted? Because she didn’t respond to his advances with enthusiasm? Likely there was more to it than that.

For Amnon, Tamar was now the proof of his wickedness. Guilt, regret, and shame all blended together in Amnon’s heart. Now, rather than acknowledge the horrifying wickedness of his actions, he decides to hold Tamar responsible and hates what she represents.

Sin never satisfies. It only reveals the darkness of our hearts and causes us the same regret and shame, even if our actions seem less wicked than Amnon’s. Don’t let lust—the desire for what you don’t have—destroy you. Live with gratitude for what is yours and let your thanksgiving overcome your lust. 

– Dr. Mike Clarensau serves as Senior Director of the Healthy Church Network of the Assemblies of God.

Fridays with David

Read 2 Samuel 13:5-10 – So Jonadab said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and give me food, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’” Then Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; and when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let Tamar my sister come and make a couple of cakes for me in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.” And David sent home to Tamar, saying, “Now go to your brother Amnon’s house, and prepare food for him.” So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house; and he was lying down. Then she took flour and kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes. And she took the pan and placed them out before him, but he refused to eat. Then Amnon said, “Have everyone go out from me.” And they all went out from him. Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the bedroom, that I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them to Amnon her brother in the bedroom. (NKJV)

The story of Amnon raping Tamar is one of several low points in David’s story. Ultimately, he will fail to take appropriate action against his evil son and even greater heartache will result. But David’s role in the story is more than suspicious. Amnon’s request that Tamar be sent to him is carried out by his father, the king. Did he not know of Amnon’s desire? Could he not see the real motive of his “sick” son? Likely, David sensed that Amnon’s request wasn’t purely motivated, but he might have been blindly hoping that no evil would come of it. David’s decision to allow this scheme shows his own inability to do what is truly right–an ability he once had as a young leader. A leader must protect those he leads—sometimes at the risk of being wrongly suspicious. Wouldn’t you step in if you thought someone might be scheming to hurt your child? Of course. But in other circumstances, we can choose to avoid asking questions or investigating a brewing conflict, just because we hope to avoid confrontation or having to deal with the problem we sense might be underway. If trouble is stirring, don’t shrink back. Step forward and shield those you love from the moments that are rising against them.

– Dr. Mike Clarensau serves as Senior Director of the Healthy Church Network of the Assemblies of God.

Fridays with David

Read 2 Samuel 13:1-4 – After this Absalom the son of David had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. Amnon was so distressed over his sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin. And it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her. But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Now Jonadab was a very crafty man. And he said to him, “Why are you, the king’s son, becoming thinner day after day? Will you not tell me?” Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.” (NKJV)

Clearly there’s a serious problem brewing among King David’s children—a tragic series of events that will end in incestuous rape and murderous vengeance. In fact, this story will continue to impact David’s kingdom for the remainder of his life. Where does it start? This horrid story begins in the unhealthy desires for his half-sister that Amnon allows to fill his heart. In fact, these desires have become so consuming that his friend sees him physically affected. Through the encouragement of an unhealthy friendship, Amnon launches a scheme that will go way beyond any destruction he could have foreseen. That’s what sexual sin will do. The desire to satisfy a momentary thirst will launch a tidal wave of destruction in a man’s life, his family and every other stream he can fathom. His life will be diminished, he will waste away and his actions will ultimately bring destruction to others that he never had intended. Don’t let such desires bring destruction and be sure to fill your life with friends who want God’s best for you, rather than just encouraging you toward things that are unhealthy.

– Dr. Mike Clarensau serves as Senior Director of the Healthy Church Network of the Assemblies of God.

Fridays with David

Read 2 Samuel 12:26-30 – Now Joab fought against Rabbah of the people of Ammon, and took the royal city. And Joab sent messengers to David, and said, “I have fought against Rabbah, and I have taken the city’s water supply. Now therefore, gather the rest of the people together and encamp against the city and take it, lest I take the city and it be called after my name.” So David gathered all the people together and went to Rabbah, fought against it, and took it. Then he took their king’s crown from his head. Its weight was a talent of gold, with precious stones. And it was set on David’s head. Also he brought out the spoil of the city in great abundance. (NKJV)

Joab has been alone leading the army, and now his impending victory has created an awkward leadership moment. As he tells David, the king’s failure to return to leading the army means Joab may be elevated by his men. At first blush, it’s hard to tell whether these words are a threat, a fear or an acknowledgement of dissension in the ranks. Either way, Joab opens the door for his king to demonstrate that he is the leader. David must return to battle and demonstrate his leadership in this victory. Kudos to Joab for being mindful of the need for his king to be seen victorious. Currently, David isn’t proving worthy of such loyalty, but Joab acts rightly anyway. Those who serve must put the good of the kingdom and their king ahead of their own benefit. That’s the nature of being a servant. Leaders will have moments of failure, but those who serve them well will seek ways to protect their leaders from the impact of their flawed choices. By doing what is right, we can help others avoid the consequences of having done what is wrong and, hopefully, help them navigate the path back to the right side.

– Dr. Mike Clarensau serves as Senior Director of the Healthy Church Network of the Assemblies of God.

Fridays with David

Read 2 Samuel 12:13-15 – So David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” And Nathan said to David, “The Lord also has put away your sin; you shall not die.However, because by this deed you have given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme, the child also who is born to you shall surely die.” Then Nathan departed to his house. And the Lord struck the child that Uriah’s wife bore to David, and it became ill. (NKJV)

When Nathan confronts David’s sin, a couple of possibilities emerge. David could respond defensively or with his power as king and have Nathan put to death for such an accusation or he could respond in humility, knowing he was really responding to God. Wisely, David chose the latter, but the other option existed and demonstrates David’s humble heart. Modern leaders can use their power to cover up their failures too. But those who remain humble enough to be corrected are more likely to recover from their times of failure. Thomas Dewar observed, “An honest confession is great for the soul, but hard on the reputation.” In other words, it can be easy to find a reason not to confess when we have failed. However, the result is hardly a path leading where you want to go. How do you respond when you’ve failed? Do you accept responsibility, do you try to distance yourself from the failure, or do you blame others? While David’s sin was grievous indeed, his decision to confess his sin started the journey toward hope and healing. It may have been the best decision he made in the latter years of his reign.

– Dr. Mike Clarensau serves as Senior Director of the Healthy Church Network of the Assemblies of God.

Fridays with David

Read 2 Samuel 12:7-12 – Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man! Thus says the Lord God of Israel: ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. I gave you your master’s house and your master’s wives into your keeping, and gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if that had been too little, I also would have given you much more! Why have you despised the commandment of the Lord, to do evil in His sight? You have killed Uriah the Hittite with the sword; you have taken his wife to be your wife, and have killed him with the sword of the people of Ammon. Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me, and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.’ Thus says the Lord: ‘Behold, I will raise up adversity against you from your own house; and I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of this sun. For you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel, before the sun.’” (NKJV)

David is caught. After several months of sidestepping his actions toward Bathsheba and Uriah, David is confronted with his sin by the prophet, Nathan. In one moment, David’s actions are exposed and God’s judgment is pronounced. So, David suddenly moves from his comfortable life to the realization that God will bring judgment on his life and his kingdom. Not a good day… It makes you wonder what David had been feeling the day before Nathan visited. Did he think he had no reason to fear consequences for his sin? Did he think he had gotten away with his adultery and murder? Did he think it didn’t matter anymore? The prophet tells him that what he had done “secretly” wasn’t as secret as he had imagined, and now God would respond publicly, and that response would affect more than just David. Don’t think that unrighteous choices are easily discarded. Unless we confess and turn from our sin, the righteous God we serve will demand a response. He cannot and will not allow our secrets to linger forever. By His love and righteousness, He will bring the hidden things to the surface if we refuse to expose them to His light ourselves.

– Dr. Mike Clarensau serves as Senior Director of the Healthy Church Network of the Assemblies of God.